Living Together
posted in Frenzied Daddy |… imagine living with another person. And working with that person. The latter is much more involving! How to work effectively? How to respect their wishes? How to draw boundaries? How to maintain love and admiration? Every day, all day long. Those are engaging issues.
Justin’s Links:Wake Up Together
What a reminder of what it’s like to be married; He’s talking about his sweetie, who he lives & works with. But it’s true for all of us- how do we maintain love and admiration every day when we live in close companionship with the objects of our devotion? It’s not really a frenzied pitch of crush-love that I feel for my wife, and I have to admit that I don’t always show her what she means to me. Nor do I really reflect on it as such, I just give her space in my life that I would resent any other human, which isn’t an active showing of admiration.
Isn’t it true also for fathers? More then just telling the kidlet that I love her, when I’m driving her to her grandma’s house for breakfast, more than offering her a peanut butter sandwich for her dinner (when she turns her nose up at tunafish casserole), how do I maintain an appropriate communication between my child and myself pertaining to what she means to me?
Emphasis because that word is subjective, and is akin to ‘should’ which is one of my badwords. (When I use the phrase “a daddy should do X” that shows that I have a specific world view, and if reality doesn’t match, then reality is at fault, like “a daddy should take the kid bike riding”) Who defines what’s appropriate? Me and the kid, generally, but how often do I ask her?
So, what I’m saying is — not only does this question, of how I maintain what I imagine a loving relation with my partner on a daily basis apply to me and my partner, but it also applies to me and my kid(s). And how do I get all that done in a day and still have time for me?
Part of the way, I suppose is to make space in my me-stuff for them; letting the Girl wash and slice strawberries for fruit salad. Letting her water the garden with me. My “chores” are a good time for her to work with me and have “quality time.” That’s one way, I suppose. The rest is, shall we say, part of the journey.
