Frenzied Daddy

Mombrain made me laugh out loud this morning. Marjorie mentions “Forbidden Lusts;” including peeing with the door closed, talking with friends in complete sentences. That’s one good thing that keeping up with this ‘Blogging stuff’ has done for me- it reminds me that my experiences are not unique. Which … frankly sometimes I need to be reminded. Well, mine would include things like “running to the store without being begged to come with” or “mowing the lawn without running over barbie” or even “buying the new metallica CD to listen to in the car rather than Radio Disney.”

Although sometimes I do kind of enjoy cruisin’ along with my kid singing in the back seat as we listen to Radio Disney in the car. It’s a nice mental image to have.

It’s not just us.

Often, the girl has free reign of the television. Sometimes we make rulings about it, sometimes she can only watch one hour a day. Sometimes she gets grounded from TV completely and can’t watch it at all— then she mopes around the house for a day or two until it’s out of her system and then later, her mother or I will watch some TV and she’ll be sucked back in.

These weeks of no-tv, we get our child back. After the first day or so, she’s helpful, considerate, thoughtful, she goes to play by herself, she reads, she colors. Which is different from her tv-self, when she’s stuck to the television like (as harlan ellison put it) a glass teat. She stares at the TV and complains when it’s not on, and tries to bargain to have her shows on. She isn’t as creative or as playful or as happy.

I thought this was subjective, or maybe just our kid— it’s not.

ConflictGirl(June 5 post) describes the same process; and in her comments to her post, there are other cases of parents finding the same thing. It’s not just our kid and not just our TV; the thing is genuinely bad for kids (when used in excess).

Ok, ignoring the obvious; the best thing about the paper route is probably the mornings like today, when it’s dry and cool (it’s 95 outside right now- it was 66 this morning at 2) and quiet. I’ve always loved being outside when it’s dark and about that temperature. It’s a great feeling. Of course, I have to get out of bed at one forty five, but hey.

Ignoring the other obvious, the worst thing about the paper route is … well . Let me back up a bit. I’ve been reading Bill Bryson. I love his writing- he’s hilarious. I started with his recent Austrailian epic, and I’ve been lent a copy of his earlier return to Europe, which feels a bit more, shall we say, unpolished. It’s exactly the difference between the Cryptonomicon and Zodiac; today’s Bill Bryson doesn’t fantasize (in his public writings) about helping the legions of Danish secretaries put sunscreen on their chests. Today’s Bill Bryson talks about the history of Austrailia in a way that is only foreshadowed in his European travelogue.

As I was saying, Mr Bryson went to Austrailia and was astounded at how poisonous everything is over there. Not just one or two things, but something like 8 of the ten most poisonous snakes live in Austrailia. And water creatures, and spiders. It’s the spiders that got to me. Because I’ll be happily (use your imagination) hurrying through someone’s yard, duck under a tree to toss a paper on a porch and fffssssssrrrippp, I’ve blundered into a spiderweb. Of course, I’m not too worried- Oregon’s poisonous spiders don’t usually lay webs out (I think), but maybe this customer just came back from Austrailia, and one of the nine million unclassified spiders hitched a ride, and in a minute I’ll be gasping and choking. That’s the worst thing about the paper route (aside from the obvious).