Frenzied Daddy

So. I mowed the front yard last night after dinner.

I got about halfway through it when an anguished cry came from the elder- Daaaaddy! There was a lot of life there!

I found myself in a heated discussion about the (her: “animals” me: “bugs”) that lived in the tall weeds we call our yard. And when I informed her that I didn’t mow over any {bugs | animals}, she pointed out the daddy longlegs and the ladybug that were crawling around in my recently mowed grass.

Daddy, how would you like it if you were a ladybug and you had a nice little house, and someone came and mowed it over?

Um, I’d probably file for financial aid from the government?

We probably talked about it for ten minutes before I told her that we could establish Ms B’s Bug Preserve in a corner of the back yard. She would be responsible for any relocation of { animals | bugs }.

I’m so glad she loves animals.

In other news, Baby K’s growing like the proverbial weed.

While You Were Out has left an indelible stain on our lives.

Those of you who have been to our house, know what our kitchen looks like. It’s tiny, it’s dark, it’s dirty. Well, while we were out at the hospital, the divine Mrs. B’s mother, sister and aunt invaded our personal space. They moved some stuff around to squeeze in an actual kitchen table, they replaced some shelving and cleaned and organized. While the room is still small, the refridgerator is no longer in front of the bigger window and it’s clean- so now it’s bright and clean.

A heartfelt thank you to those involved.

In other news, we’re home, the kids are marvelous. My dad in law came up and replaced some rotten fiberboard in the kitchen (so that’s what the smell I couldn’t get rid of was), and replaced the wax seal under the toilet (his second favorite job just after anything that has to do with plumbing pipes. Thank you, Mr. R

Baby K is keeping Mrs B up at nights, but I’m sleeping pretty well (except when Mrs B has had “enough” and sends me into exile with the baby). I feel pretty worn out, but I guess that’s normal, for me. Having my kitchen rearranged and my bathroom floor no longer rotting, I’m feeling all-fired-up to do some “work” around the house. Lord help my Home Depot bill.

I have heard the cries of my people, and I have made more pictures available. Look in the Gallery.

Baby K. was born this morning, early, by C-section. Eight pounds, two ounces, about eighteen and a half inches long. The divine Mrs. B is still here at the hospital, the c-section will keep her here (and thus, me here) for “quite some time.”

If you call my home telephone number, you’ll get the number here at the hospital. )

(Edited Later)

Baby K is quiet. I guess it’s because of the c-section- she’s still not aware that she’s moved out of the womb and resides in the “wide world.” She’s eating, pooping, all the baby stuff, and she’s sleeping a lot. She’s also kicked me a couple of times while I changed her (nasty tar poop) and I could tell … she may have a natural affinity for kicking boys.

My wife has a seriously high pain threshold. That’s why I know that I never ever want a kidney infection. She woke me early this morning with pulsing lower back pain. We, well, ok I, figured it was the beginnings of labor; we called the Ob/Gyn advice line and they advised us to go in. We got in and found out the worst news of the day- not only was she not in labor, but that excruciating pain was from a kidney infection. The pain from the kidney was causing her uterus to contract, and thus she had the worst of both worlds. She’ll be in the hospital for a couple of days, so if the weblogging gets a little sparse, don’t worry, I’m around.

Brought to you by “Wither in the Light“:

“History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes.”
Thomas Jefferson to Alexander von Humboldt, 1813.

Well, I can’t find it now, but I think it’s time to take another page from the “Geek Diet.” This is where I stole the idea from for keeping a “running 10 day average weight” for trend analysis. However, my trend has remained fairly flat at 232ish pounds for the last month. Kind of disheartening, really, since I remember being 180 in college (and I wouldn’t mind seeing 195 again, honestly).

I’m 6’0″. According to this, my ideal weight would be between 140 and 180. According to that same website- I’m in the 85 percentile of men my height and age; that is, I’m heavier than 85 percent of men like me. That flat trend is looking less and less healthy; whether or not I agree with “halls.md” website- looking at an array of five other sites, I’m overweight by at least thirty pounds, and according to most sources, at least fifty.

So what to do about it? I’m not a fan of the Atkins thing; it seems too much like focussing on one food-group for me. I prefer a variety, and I generally trust my body when it asks for stuff (well, except the occasional Blizzard. There’s another problem with Atkins for me. So, I’m going to continue with my general plan; eating an assortment of foods. However, I think I need to keep a “food journal,” because that was very helpful when I needed to keep myself honest on Weight Watchers. Why, you may ask, do I bring up the “Geek Diet” ? Part of that diet has to do with “treating the body as a machine.” Or a “function box” like we used in beginning algebra. You put stuff into the body, something magical happens, and you get stuff out. What you put in is “energy” and what you get out, also, is “energy”, either kinetic or potential. (Potential energy is fat.) If you put more energy in than you take out, you gain weight. If input and output are equal, your body stabilizes, and if your input is less than your output, you lose weight.

This website suggests that I need about 3700 calories per day to keep my current weight (I used 234*16, because I think I’m on the low side of “active”, which is probably over-estimating my activity level). And it also claims that one pound of body is worth about 3500 calories- so if I trim out 500 calories per day, in a week I’ll have lost one pound. I actually have no idea how many calories I bring into my body on a daily basis, but it’s probably near the 3700 mark (because my weight chart graph is fairly flat.)

Anyway- to make a long story short, I guess I’m going to start keeping a food diary, and I’m going to try to aim at about 3200 calories per day, more or less. Paying some attention to the problem is more than I have been doing, isn’t it? And maybe I won’t be quite so embarrassed to remove my shirt in the future.

(. . . He had a broad face, and a little round belly
That shook when he laugh’d, like a bowl full of jelly . . .

Foolishly or wisely, I came in for a half day today. Nobody really wanted me to- that is, none of my family thought it was a good idea. Frankly, I was reluctant. I tried to explain this to Ms. B, the elder daughter. “Honey, I’m trying to “not be a pig.” They’ve been very supportive of me being off for a week or so when baby K is born, and I don’t want to take advantage of them.” Still, I’m unhappy that I’m here- I’d rather be on holiday with my wife and kid, waiting for the “fake labor” to “turn real.”

My boss is moving, and as such is out of the office for yesterday and today. His wife (who does the books, how neat is that?! ) stopped by with one of their daughters and brought in their parakeet, their “walking sticks” and their hermit crabs. While the “birds and bugs” are neat, I’m a little depressed that, once again, I’m sharing my office with a zoo. But my work-folks are good folks, and I’m mostly happy.

When the elder Ms B was en utero, we had no idea what we were getting. It was a lot like Christmas. Or maybe a birthday (laugh). We went out of our way to not-know the gender of our kid, and were very happily surprised when we discovered Ms B to be a girl.

With Baby K, it’s very different. Because of the amniocentesis, we know exactly that Baby K is going to be a girl. And we know her name, and we have a pretty good idea of what to expect in the hair and eyes department (squinty eyes, mussed up hair, and purple skin). It’s a lot easier to imagine Baby K banging her umbilical cord on the walls of her cell, hollering “Warden! Warden! You gotta understand- there’s been a terrible mistake!”. In a way, she’s more immanent. I don’t know whether to be happy that I know she’s coming, or unhappy that the level of mystery is gone. I’m going to be sticking with “happy that I know she’s coming” though, because in a few hours, days, whatever, the rest of the mystery will be uncovered.

And for an update, the divine Mrs B is having “contraptions” (as Ms B announced) about every 20 minutes for an hour and a half, then nothing for a bit, then more contraptions. It’s only a matter of time.:-0