The other option is talk to her about letting her stay up later on non school nights, however giving her a limited list of activities, and the agreement that she not keep the TT awake, or be grumpy the next day.

My dad cut a deal with us as kids, we could stay up late reading or coloring quietly in bed. He made it when I was in 1st grade, it worked for many years.

The only kids I’ve parented have been DQ’s age through HS so I’m not the best at this; however, having also taught grades 9-12 and up, I may have some academic perspective, to take it for what it’s worth–that and the fact that I love the kid. “My” teenaged girls were not into computers. One was preparing to become a rock star (which she did!), the other wasn’t sure who she was yet. I’m scared by what I see on TV about the lure of IM and blog sites where kids are targeted by predatory characters.

I’d be tempted to have a talk with DQ, starting with something that makes this an introductory discussion about what’s going on, without any debits on the table (at this point). Something open-ended–I’m a little concerned, and wonder what you wanted/needed to do so much that you’d mislead me into thinking you were going to bed for the night.” That sounds too stilted, so whatever you might usually say to encourage DQ to open up her side of the equation.

If you can get a real conversation going, you may be able to talk with her about your own side of the equation–what you and Ms B need, and why, and how DQ’s behavior impacts that. “Your mother and I need to go to sleep because we are up really early, even on days you aren’t in school. If I have to stay up to be sure you go to sleep, I can’t [work, sleep, . . .]. I guess I’m saying try treating her as an adult, which in part she already is. She does seem to understand and respond to adult reasoning, in my limited experience of living with her for 10 days. VERY limited experience!

Maybe she believes she’s ready for later bedtime hours. If she’s waking up grouchy, she’s probably wrong about that, but it’s, um, can you stand it? age-appropriate behavior to test the limits. It’s such a tightrope to walk as a parent. She needs to begin setting her own values, at the same time she needs the security of parental solidarity.