Cheechako Annoyances
posted in Frenzied Daddy, funny |You may have heard that we’ve gotten a little snow. Eight inches, then a layer of ice, then another four inches. My brother called to tell me that he was walking in the snow thinking about us and Anchorage. And for an instant, he felt like he was in Anchorage- the cinnamon-sugar toast color of the snow in the streets, the muffling snow, how quiet it was, it all reminded him of that home.
So today I had to get out and experience it myself. The roads are still snowy, chains or studs are required on the highways. I saw a pretty blue camaro with no chains on it driving down Lombard. Not a car I would have chosen, but it’s his (I checked, it was a guy) camaro.
I walked from home to the bank (closed) and the post office to mail the Christmas Cards and package that should have gone out on Friday last. Some things come back quickly; the funny duck-walk you do to make sure you don’t slide all over the snow. I over took one couple in snowshoes. Snowshoes? Really? Did you have them just laying around waiting for the biggest snowfall in forty years? But the cross country skiiers passed me, gliding, quietly eliding into the distance.
When I got to beautiful (snowy) downtown St Johns, I saw kids (heh, kids; teenagers or twenty year olds) getting off the bus with their snowboards heading to Cathedral Park. Lots of good sledding there, I imagine.
I took the bus up to the big Fred Meyer ( at Interstate ) and back. As I came down our street, I came upon a guy with a shovel digging out his truck with chains. I dunno, maybe I wanted to feel big-hearted or something, but I offered to push him. He said “ok” with a thick accent and then got in the truck. His friend came out of the house and helped me push. We got at the front of the truck and put our backs and shoulders into it and started shoving it. He shouted “Velo!” and his friend said something in Spanish. I thought “Velo? like velocity? no, no, you —” and then his wheels spun and sparks flew beneath his rear wheels. No va.
Uh, no. No velo. Please? “Rock it.” I mimed rocking it back and forth. We got into a rhythm, rocking it back and forth. That is, we pushers rocked it back and forth, the driver stood on the pedal. Finally he got it far enough back that it caught on the snow. He pulled it out and then went forward into the snowbank again.
In for a penny, in for a pound, I helped him rock it out again. He, of course, stood on the gas pedal until sparks flew out from the back of his truck. Then “twang!” and something snapped. I went back and found a broken strap laying in the road and brought it up to him. “Chains are broken.”
“But they’re ok, right?”
“Uh, no, broken. And coming off the wheel.”
“But they’re ok. Ok, push.”
We finally got it out, the chains sliding sideways off the tire, and he drove up the road a little. He was out of the snowbank and on the road (still on snow). I gave up and picked up my groceries (about eight bags full, including a gallon of milk) and walked the other direction. I was home soon.
And worn out. Man, Definitely tired.
