Dark Industry

Dark Industry, thanks to SoulRider.222 @ Flickr
The last few months have been very rough. I’ve been fighting the worst case of depression I’ve had in a number of years. It’s tempting to keep a journal of my outlook; hard to call it a “mood” when I just want to be left alone to sit and stare at a wall. But keeping a journal would get depressing in and of itself. Part of the problem is the weight of the current thing, so when I look back and see “day 23, still down” it might be difficult to find a brighter spot in the day.

It’s starting to cost me dearly though. How do I tell people “I didn’t do your stuff because I was too busy being depressed?” One way to climb out of the hole is to set small goals and then meet them. A small goal like “yup, I’ll do that for your website” — and I don’t meet it. And the weight of that failure gets added to world on my back.

Today feels about the best it has though, in really, the last three months. I don’t know if it’s the sunshine yesterday or what, but right now I’m feeling like I can accomplish something. So let’s start by putting some work down and getting it done. It would really help if I could go running again too, and get back on that habit.

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I'm a fairly typical stressed-out dad. I'm outnumbered three to one by the women of my household, but I still manage to hold my own.

2 thoughts on “Dark Industry”

  1. Depression is the worst. :( And for all that it’s so common, it’s so isolating.

    Sending you good thoughts and my best regard. You’re not alone.

  2. Today seems ok too :) I think it’s turning around, finally. That was a dark two months. Lets hope it doesn’t cost me what it might have.

    And thanks for being there, Stacy :)

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