Frenzied Daddy

It’s not often that Miss K and I get away on our own. Today, I finished some work for a client and took a break by taking Miss K to the Salmon Street fountain.

Our trip was another example of a flaw in my fathering. I have a hard time entertaining the kids without “doing something with them,” meaning “get out of the house and go somewhere.” I’m not sure where it comes from- my own dad would spend an afternoon chasing me to Australia so I could get my two armies a turn, while he got the rest of the world, until he won the risk game. Or just “hanging out.” Or whatever. It’s hard for me to interact with my kids in the house. Anyway.

She was surprised to see the fountain. I don’t think she’s ever been there. I’d have pictures but I learned too late that the camera was powerless. She didn’t have a swimsuit or even a towel. She did ask if she could “get all wet” and I said “of course” and then sat back and enjoyed her enjoyment of the fountain. She got nice and wet and very cold. Then she finally said it was time to go home. We stopped for another first; the “Dog House” on Burnside (which is now called Frank-N-Furter). She had a regular with ketchup. I had a Polish with brown mustard and sauerkraut (my favorite). She was impressed by the ‘dog.

We got home and she fell asleep in the living room. She feels a little warm; maybe she’s not feeling too well. But she had a nice afternoon, and it was good to get away.

too quiet, if you ask me. Which you didn’t.

The girls are gone to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, leaving myself and Ms B alone. Days on end without hearing “DAAAAAADDDY” or even “what’s for dinner” or *gasp* “I’m hungry.” What’s a guy to do?

Well, I don’t mind telling you. I’m playing on the xbox, I’m surfing the internets, and I’m enjoying the peace and quiet. But on the other hand, it’s hard to think of what I’m “supposed to do next.” I guess I’d better learn to figure it out because college for Miss B is coming, and someday the girls will move out of the house. And my empty nest will be this quiet all the time.

Well – I’m off to read a book, and build some more websites. There’s always room for more websites. Talk atcha soon!

But she could be!

I’ve landed a temporary gig at a place in Beaverton, remaking their website. I’ll be working there at least 30 hours a week. It’ll be interesting; I haven’t had a daily “go to work” job in over two years; the last one was Interlink. Since then, it’s been a combination office/work from home or just plain work from home. I’m excited and nervous, wondering about the culture there; do people eat at their desks? Will they understand peanut butter and jelly, an apple and a juice box?

Thirty hours a week won’t keep me from my other engagements. It’s temporary, so I’ll be looking for more gigs. But the stress will be off for a little while.

On the other hand, Miss B will be out from school soon (about this time next month) and we’ll have to discuss if we send her to a sitter or trust her alone. Alone in quotes; the neighbors are awesome. What’s the age you at which you were left alone? I was alone in the house … uhm third grade?

I had a conversation about a year ago with my boss; he wanted to know why I had “blown off” an entire day of work, with plenty of high priority projects in the queue. It was one of those days where I was supposed to get a million things done for work, for home, for other projects, and I hadn’t been taking my brain drugs and had, in fact, spent the entire day reading a book.

I don’t do it often, especially when I’m taking my drugs, but I’d be lying if I said I was perfect.

I had retreated from the high stress world of everything I was supposed to do into some easier world. Like spending my day watching Oprah and One Life to Live. It’s hard not to do that yesterday, today and tomorrow — I have work to get done and a full time job to find, but books are seductive and easy. I’ve reread a couple of Linnea Sinclair Romance-Science Fiction novels, but really, I’m trying hard to stay productive.

The TT and I put in a small raised bed with tomatoes, peas and radishes.

The DQ has the same problem. She’s been hiding in books rather than doing her “boring” homework (some Outdoor School vocabulary books, her normal geography, that sort of stuff). On the one hand, it’s great that she’s reading (it’s fan-tastic that she likes reading), and she is even supposed to read 1000 pages every quarter of school (part of her grade depends on it). On the other, it’s frustrating to have to punish her for not doing her homework.

Both of us have a similar problem; hiding in the books to avoid work/homework. How would you suggest I teach her to focus on her homework?

My friend, young raven, asked me whilst enroute to the airport, if I was gaming currently. Sadly, no. However, I am living vicariously through several gaming-related podcasts and other sundry stories. Wil Wheaton just wrapped up his story about sending his son and some friends through the beginnings to their game, and his reflective tips on DMing are also great suggestions for new parents who haven’t yet figured out their game. Or old parents who, like me, sometimes lose track that the goal of this journey is fun.

Whenever you can, say “yes.” I think my first instinct is always to say “no.” No, you can’t have another Popsicle. No, I won’t help you clean your room. No, I won’t read you another book. No, I won’t tell you a story * this topic is actually reserved for another post . What if you tried saying “yes.” What’s the worst that’ll happen, if she has another Popsicle? What are you doing rather than helping him clean his room? Can it wait? Why not read another book? Our kids hear “no,” too often, and we should practice saying “yes.”

Everything is important to the PCs (kids) It’s probably not a big deal to you if you take the blue blanket or the pink one, but she’s throwing an ever-loving fit. If it’s really not important to you; try letting them pick once in a while. With the previous one and this one, I’m not advocating “say yes every time,” kids need to learn that they don’t always get their way. But they can sometimes get their way, can’t they?

Listen to your players (kids). Are you half-listening, singing to the music or reading the recipe for the stroganoff? Focus on what they’re saying, and how they’re saying it. Treat it as important, and since they’re kind of new to the world, you may have to go the extra steps of showing that you’re listening by *gasp* making eye contact and repeating back what they’re saying. You know, “good listening” skills.

Keep it simple, even if you’re just getting started. Kids don’t really care if you arrange a huge fantastic trip, like parachuting into the zoo and enjoying the day. All they really want is simple stuff – especially if they’re infants or toddlers. How many parents have you seen with these incredibly ornate parties for their two-year-old? Ponies? Alligators? What’ll you do next year? Keep it simple

You should go take a look at his post. He’s got several more points, and the only one that I think doesn’t directly translate to parenting is “buy a DM screen.” But even that one? Yeah, the kids don’t need to know everything.

Huh. Post 999? Weird.

The DQ is studying genetics in school. She’s working out how she gets brown eyes when I have blue and Ms B has brown. Also, I can curl my tongue, and so can Ms B and so can the DQ, but not the TT yet. And she’s working out hair color. But there’s an interesting other genetics thing she’s picked up too.

In High School, I helped with the rejuvenation of our literary magazine. I was a fairly prolific writer. What can I say, High School was angsty and paper was cheap. Ms B is no slouch either when it comes to writing; she’s been known to put pen to paper and come up with some pretty good stuff. I’ve written papers on poetry, that’s how geeky I am. I worked my way from structured poetry like sonnets and haiku, through free verse, and back again to structured poetry.

I haven’t written a lot lately because, in a surprising (to me) turn of events, my codewrighting (I spelled that the way I mean it), uses a lot of the same energies that my poetry did. Also, a lot of my poetry was fueled by sadness, depression, the emo pain that a lot of teenagers feel.

Imagine my surprise (and pride, and pleasure) when I found the DQ’s school newspaper, and an entry by her.


As the world goes dark
when the sky turns black
thousands of lights turn on
when they fade
on dawn's return
the sky is once again alone
even though the stars were
mirrored by lights
they will never be caught
ever eternal they shine in the
darkest nights they are
stars


I really couldn’t tell you how impressed, pleased and proud I am of her. Being able to write, and being self-assured enough to place it in the school paper with her name attached. Just like a chip off the old blocks.

Miss B got a big enough giftcard from her grandparents that she was able to buy, basically, the world. She could buy almost any xbox or wii game, or some packs for sim 2 … but what she chose, what she’s been asking about for months … was Spore.

Cute game. I’ve played through the cell stage and the creature stage a few times. Have just barely cracked the tribal stage and entered “civilization.” Both of the girls play it and like it.

The TT was playing it last night. She’s great at the cell stage where she has to drive around eating stuff (generally she plays herbivores). She’s good at the critter stage. However, she has a real problem with the tribal stage. It’s just past her ability to grasp tactics. She’ll be doing something, and some other tribe will annoy her so she’ll go to their town to beat them up and get slaughtered and have to start all over again.

She did that for about three hours last night until I put her to bed (late, cuz I was up working). Build up her tribe, maybe kill off one tribe, go attack another, get slain, start over, build up her tribe… She was very determined.

So determined that when I finally took her upstairs and away from the computer, she screamed at me for twenty minutes, kicking and clawing at the door to the basement. Yeah, she’s lost privileges for the day, but I’m in total awe of her dedication.

Some random thoughts … not everything in my head gets twittered.

I’m amazed that this auction for an extra joke from an Onion writer is going so high. It started at $0.57 to cover postage.

I’m putting “focus” on my calendar as my word-for-the-year.

I’m writing down that next year (this year) I need to request time off during this Christmas Break. I’m not sure yet if I should use half of my vacation during March and half during December or just all during December, but these last two weeks have been embarassing and work-constipated. And the snow days didn’t help any either.

I’m writing a nastygram to Jack Frost for yet another day of snow and ice. Drove the Missus to work this morning and called my moms to see if they needed their walk shoveled.

I guess that covers it. Talk at y’all soon.