Frenzied Daddy

Generally, spiders don’t bug me. Sure, black, bulbous bodies with spindly legs that have sharply bent joints … they get squished. I don’t mind the little brown garden spiders though. Yeah, I practice racial profiling and prejudice against spiders. Sue me.

I’m not going out like this poor guy: German Man. Note to Chris: do not click. Note to others: the story is not believable for many reasons.

When I was younger, even when Ms B and I first got married (well, ok, up until about six years ago) I had a terrible phobia about flying bugs… I would run and jump around like a monkey if I thought a bee was in my hair. I was more in danger of scaring the poor thing than anything else. Miss B has been following in my footsteps, which has caused me to consciously “worry less” when there’s flying insects nearby. She claims she likes some common bugs but other ones disturb her. And flying ones, well, just give up.

I’m on call this week which means I go to bed early and I’m up early. This morning I came down to find a note on the basement door that read “there is a moth inside. please remove.” in Miss B’s best handwriting.

Just when I think my daddyhood couldn’t get any worse, Miss K decides to show me how very wrong I am.

Miss B, Ms B and I were laying in the big bedroom (Ms B’s and Mine), in front of the fan, reading and working. I see Miss K with the gentle leader, she takes it over to Perrin and hooks him up. He’s not choking or anything, so she must have done it right. I go back to my work, and Miss K and Perrin leave the room. I’m listening to the sounds; I’m expecting to hear her crying or him barking or some sort of disaster but I don’t hear anything. I’m also expecting Miss B and Ms B to have noticed that Miss K was up to something.

I’m working on a piece of code and need to get it out of my head before I forget about it. A lot of my work is like that; my breaks come between pieces of code. It’s very creative-process-y.

I involve myself in the code, not hearing any noise ( but I can hear the fan and the radio, I’m not totally zoned ), and tell myself that I’ll find Miss K after this function block. Before I finish, however, I hear a voice. I look up from the computer and listen more closely; I can’t decide if it’s the radio or not, and I’m about to ask the Bs if they hear it too, when SS, our neighbor, comes into the room. She had let herself in, through the open front door.

Apparently Miss K had walked Perrin out of the house and down the street (away from the busy street, deeper into the neighborhood ) and had gotten about 4 or so houses down before someone noticed her. They asked SS if she (Miss K) was hers, but it wasn’t until SS actually saw her that she realized that it was Miss K. I was astounded that Perrin hadn’t pulled her over or anything, that he was politely walking along with her. And when SS picked her up to bring her home, Miss K threw an unholy temper tantrum– as if Miss K believed that she was doing the right thing; it was like the two of them had teamed up and were going for a walk come Heck or High Water.

Sigh.

I guess I have to put locks on our gates too

Every year at about this time I annoy my wife and children with the same answer to that pesky question “What do you want for Father’s Day.” All I really want is the love and respect of my family. This is such an annoying answer that a Fred Meyers commercial makes fun of it.

I took an idea from the Simple Dollar’s site and posted a few inexpensive ideas that would generally work for me or should provide some seeds and mulch for ideas for any other dad ( or mom for Mother’s Day). I posted it over at the Portland Parents site.