She’s so smart!

For you gamer-types, or ex-gamer types, especially if you’ve ever witnessed the bloody fight between the “storytellers” and the “rules lawyers,” I have to recommend Dorkness Rising. There are people and characters in there that I swear I’ve gamed with; and they’re accurately, if a little hyperbolically, skewered.

If you’re not a gamer, it won’t be nearly as funny. But I think you’d still like it. I was rolling on the floor, laughing so hard I had tears running down my face. Especially at the end, the blooper reel.

As we got to the other side of the block, a little grey cat went totally bunions-to-the-wall ape-poop. It rose up, hissing at my poor dogs, who couldn’t get away because they old and feeble. Then it walked toward them, hissing, and finally charged them, darting under Perrin, around over his shoulders, on his rump, hissing and spitting. He was so surprised he fell down.

Which is a problem. Now I have a bag of poop in one hand, the other is holding a leash with two dogs on it, the cat is angry, and the dog fell over and can’t get back up. I had to (gently, ‘cuz I’m being totally respectful at this angry yowling spitting demon) swing the dog poop bag at the cat to get it to slowly move away, lift Perrin’s hips up so we can slowly walk down the street from the cat. And while we’re going, the dastardly thing decides we’re not moving fast enough, so it chases us, spitting and snarling.

My poor dogs were so put out. Well, ok they weren’t. They forgot all about it by the time we got a house away and the cat left us alone.

I don’t do it often, especially when I’m taking my drugs, but I’d be lying if I said I was perfect.

I had retreated from the high stress world of everything I was supposed to do into some easier world. Like spending my day watching Oprah and One Life to Live. It’s hard not to do that yesterday, today and tomorrow — I have work to get done and a full time job to find, but books are seductive and easy. I’ve reread a couple of Linnea Sinclair Romance-Science Fiction novels, but really, I’m trying hard to stay productive.

The TT and I put in a small raised bed with tomatoes, peas and radishes.

The DQ has the same problem. She’s been hiding in books rather than doing her “boring” homework (some Outdoor School vocabulary books, her normal geography, that sort of stuff). On the one hand, it’s great that she’s reading (it’s fan-tastic that she likes reading), and she is even supposed to read 1000 pages every quarter of school (part of her grade depends on it). On the other, it’s frustrating to have to punish her for not doing her homework.

Both of us have a similar problem; hiding in the books to avoid work/homework. How would you suggest I teach her to focus on her homework?

Whenever you can, say “yes.” I think my first instinct is always to say “no.” No, you can’t have another Popsicle. No, I won’t help you clean your room. No, I won’t read you another book. No, I won’t tell you a story * this topic is actually reserved for another post . What if you tried saying “yes.” What’s the worst that’ll happen, if she has another Popsicle? What are you doing rather than helping him clean his room? Can it wait? Why not read another book? Our kids hear “no,” too often, and we should practice saying “yes.”

Everything is important to the PCs (kids) It’s probably not a big deal to you if you take the blue blanket or the pink one, but she’s throwing an ever-loving fit. If it’s really not important to you; try letting them pick once in a while. With the previous one and this one, I’m not advocating “say yes every time,” kids need to learn that they don’t always get their way. But they can sometimes get their way, can’t they?

Listen to your players (kids). Are you half-listening, singing to the music or reading the recipe for the stroganoff? Focus on what they’re saying, and how they’re saying it. Treat it as important, and since they’re kind of new to the world, you may have to go the extra steps of showing that you’re listening by *gasp* making eye contact and repeating back what they’re saying. You know, “good listening” skills.

Keep it simple, even if you’re just getting started. Kids don’t really care if you arrange a huge fantastic trip, like parachuting into the zoo and enjoying the day. All they really want is simple stuff – especially if they’re infants or toddlers. How many parents have you seen with these incredibly ornate parties for their two-year-old? Ponies? Alligators? What’ll you do next year? Keep it simple

You should go take a look at his post. He’s got several more points, and the only one that I think doesn’t directly translate to parenting is “buy a DM screen.” But even that one? Yeah, the kids don’t need to know everything.

Huh. Post 999? Weird.

/me saunters off, whistling innocently.

One of the ways that the Star Trek reboot this summer is being promoted is through twitter; you can follow the Kelvin (and now there’s a great name for a ship). Actually, it’s a twitter feed for their Sweepstakes. But I’ve seen a lot of “buzz” generation through twitter- everyone from Santa Claus to the Transformers is trying to figure out how to use Twitter to spread the word about their product.

I doubt I’ll be entering their sweepstakes. The prizes are a trip to Hollywood for the premiere (and to wave hi to Shane and Sam and their girls) or a zero-gee air flight (whoopsie, I need another air sickness bag). However, if Intel were handing out Lenovos (especially with linux installed), that’d be a no brainer.

Anyway, mentioning Star Trek on your twitter will get whomever is the human behind the USS Kelvin’s twitter feed to notice you and follow you. So get crackin!

One sunny day in January 2009 (slightly in the future), an old man approached the White House from across Pennsylvania Avenue, where he’d been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the US Marine standing guard and said “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The marine looked at the man and said “Sir, Mr Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The old man said “Okay” and walked away.

The following day, the same man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.”

The Marine again told the man, “Sir, as I said yesterday, Mr Bush is no longer president and no longer resides here.” The man thanked him, and again, just walked away.

The third day, the same man approached the White House and spoke to the very same US Marine, saying “I would like to go in and meet with President Bush.” The Marine, understandably agitated at this point, looked at the man and said “Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been asking to speak to Mr Bush. I’ve told you every day that Mr. Bush is no longer the president and no longer resides here. Don’t you understand?”

The old man looked at the Marine and said “Oh, I do understand, sir. I just love hearing it.”

The Marine snapped to attention, saluted and said “See you tomorrow, sir.”

Reminds me of the joke about that old concentration camp prisoner who found a genie in a bottle, doesn’t it? Although I can’t find a source for that joke, so I must be misremembering it.

ETA: I was misremembering it. A quick google for “joke three wishes poland” brought it back.

About thirty years ago, an old man was walking home through the streets of Warsaw. He cut through an alley and was kicking garbage out of his way when he uncovered a lamp. He figured, “what the heck” and picked it up, then began rubbing it.

A genie appeared. “My thanks, master. For freeing me from my lamp, I will grant you three wishes.”

The old man thought for a moment, then spoke. “I wish for Genghis Khan and his entire Horde to live again, to ride all the way from Mongolia to the Polish border, then to stop, turn around, go home, and be dead again.”

The genie looked at him oddly, then spoke. “Very well, Master, it is done. And for your second wish?”

The old man spoke again. “I wish for Genghis Khan and his entire Horde to live again, to ride all the way from Mongolia to the Polish border, then to stop, turn around, go home, and be dead again.”

The genie looked at him oddly again, hesitated, then spoke. “Very well, Master it is done. And for your third wish?”

“I wish for Genghis Khan…”

“Yes, yes, it is done! Now, Master, before I leave, I have to ask you this question. Even trapped in my lamp for lo these centuries, I heard the jokes about your people, and always thought they were mean-spirited and cruel and slanderous. But here you had three wishes, and you wasted them on that? What was that all about?”

The old man chuckled. “Because Genghis Khan and his entire Horde just went through the length of Russia six times.”

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